The Appeal of Narcissists: Sexual \u0026 Social Trends
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Im a pulsar clinical psychologist at vital mind psychology here in sydney. Australia. And and this is the final video in this series on the understanding.
The romantic appeal narcissists in this video. I want to look at the question of what social factors. Changes and trans might be making narcissists have greater ascendancy and access in todays sexual and relationship marketplace.
And how might these social changes have disrupted the polarity between masculine and feminine energy. Within the sexual and relationship marketplace. By the way my website is vital mined dot com.
Today you checked me out there. And thats where you can find out more regarding. My approach including the coaching services.
I offer to international clients and also check me out a facebook just social viral. Mind psychology. So to help shed light on the on the question.
Under examination in this video. Im reflecting on my own clinical experience as well as published research. Some of which are referenced in the video description.
And what follows from he is a hypothesis is a theory hold it lightly listen with an open mind.
We know that modern western culture is more individualistic than ever more than it is communal and that is in western culture. Today. The focus is on the power choice and agency of the individual and there is evidence that suggests that in communal or collectivist cultures.
Where the focus is on the group and its needs men who are non narcissistic. Who are not typically highly extroverted dominant and self assured have greater success in the relationship and sexual marketplace. That is that that is theyre more likely to form long term successful romantic relationships that produce offspring now the focus on individualism or we could call this a hyper individualism in the hyper modern west.
Today western culture can be thought of as a representation of the dominance of masculine energy over feminine energy. Masculine energy is golf focused dominant and imposes boundaries. It is a penetrative energy.
It seeks to fill up space whereas feminine energy in contrast is open accepting and nurturing. It is a receptive energy that seeks to take in or receive now masculine and feminine energy is not strictly defined. According to biological sex.
Both men and women are a mix of masculine and feminine energy. Some men main body more feminine energy. Theyre compared to some women and many women today.
We could say probably embody more masculine energy. There not been a lot of men out there masculine energy is helpful to both men and women when it comes to achieving a goal. Overcoming an obstacle and setting boundaries.
Now a romantic relationship.
Which by definition is a sexual relationship requires a balance of masculine and feminine energy to ensure sufficient sexual polarity or tension between both partners in a romantic relationship. The tension or polarity between masculine and feminine energy in both partners acts. Just as the positive and negative force of a magnet to ensure a magnetism or or a pull.
And you may refer to this as chemistry now in a heterosexual romantic relationship between a man and a woman research clinical experience. And i think common sense points to the reality. That in the maine in the maine women are attracted to men with more masculine energy and men are more attracted to women with more feminine energy as a general rule now in some relationships.
This can be reversed with the woman embodying. The more masculine energy and the relationship can be successful with the man having the more feminine energy. But i would say this is the exception to the rule in terms of intimate relationships.
Which are successful in the longer term so holding that background in mind those those preliminary remarks. Ive made about masculine and feminine energy and sexual polarity excuse. Me we appear to be witnessing a broader social push in modern western culture which hardly favors the embodiment of masculine energy in women especially young women across all domains of their life not just in those domains.
Where where masculine energy may be or is useful that is to achieve a goal such as in education or career. But girls and women today appear to be saturated on bombarded with messages both explicit and implicit. Which favors dominus dominance strongest determination toughness and go getters all of which are manifestations of masculine energy.
And this trend is evident in advertising. Social media and in popular forms of entertainment. Now the constant focus on strength independence performance and complete self sufficiency leaves little room for the embattled embodiment of a more feminine or receptive energy and it also in my clinical experience negatively impacts women as the weight of being in a masculine energy.
Almost all the time is eventually exhausting and has negative consequences on a womans health and relationships the sexual and relationship marketplace hinges upon the polarity between masculine and feminine energy.
Now. In this more masculine energy. State.
Women may fail to fill any or enough sexual polarity or magnetism with men who embody anything than a masculine or in fact. A hyper masculine energy and uh thats nowhere near and thus men. Who are nowhere near as adept at the game playing and the seduction that narcissists are so expert at in the beginning of a relationship are at a strategic disadvantage in the modern sexual and relationship marketplace now its clear that narcissists do exhibit more prototypical superficial masculine traits and energy in terms of them being more direct focus confident although beneath this veneer their masculine energy is that its corrupted or shadow form that is they are exploitative tyrannical and completely self serving especially if they also have traits of machiavellianism and psychopathy which with narcissism is known as the dark triad in the literature.
Im also aware of more recent literature regarding the dark tetrad and published research has demonstrated that increasing numbers of women give sexual and relationship preference to men with dark triad traits excuse me in contrast to the lack of sexual polarity with the nice guy in other words in the failure of the nice guy to produce enough sexual tension at the beginning of a relationship. The narcissist is able to produce heightened amounts of sexual tension at initial contact and intermittently throughout the relationship in a sense. The narcissist embodies a type of hyper masculinity albeit in its corrupted form.
Which can create sexual polarity. Even with a woman who inhabits masculine energy. Most of the time we may posit that a woman in masculine energy.
Most of the time will seek at a man with hyper masculine traits to produce any type of sexual polarity now the negative impact of this broader social trend cannot be underestimated because narcissists are experts at game. Playing and initiating relationships. And the current sexual and relationship marketplace is providing fertile ground for this sort of narcissistic game playing.
But what we know is that the relationships that narcissists are so adept at initiating are usually short lived and if theyre not whether they short lived or not theyre destructive and often produce children in which one parent usually the mother is left to care for those children in todays sexual and relationship marketplace men who embody anything less than a hyper masculine hyper. Confident energy cannot compete with the more aggressive and seductive narcissistic and dark triad individuals. Now this dynamic has provided as i said fertile ground for the game playing that narcissists are renowned for in relationship.
And it can also account for the broader trend of the rise in pickup artistry and an entire industry aimed at teaching men how to jump through hoops and create all sorts of games and tension in order to attract a mate so the relationship and the the sexual and relationship marketplace has become a minefield and many men have opted out of it all together or are choosing to select women from more collectivistic cultures.
Where its viewed or its perceived that these women typically embody a more feminine energy. Now the problem that what im discussing is creating or potentially creating is that those agreeable and such and slightly neurotic men who may refer to as nice guys have within them the seeds of the authentic grounded masculine that i spoke about in my video series back in 2017. I believe on the thunder.
Standing the three types of men so the these agreeable and slightly neurotic nice guys have within them the seeds of the grounded masculine which in a prior social context. Those seeds would have had more fertile ground within. Which to flourish and that fertile ground was the capacity of such men to in she ate and remain within long term monogamous romantic relationships.
Which led to offspring standing and respect within. The community and a clear goal and purpose within. Which their masculine energy manifested and grew over time these are the men who respect the social frame and contract.
Which narcissistic men do not i believe we are seeing less and less authentic grounded men today because authentic grounded masculinity develops it is an achievement and the hyper masculinity of the narcissist in its shadow corrupted and counterfeit form has supplanted the authentic grounded masculine energy and is increasingly taking up the space in which the authentic grounded masculine energy can develop in summary. Modern western culture appears to have pushed women especially younger women to inhabit a masculine energy across most or all of their life domains including their romantic relationship. This imbalance has potentially seriously disrupted.
The sexual polarity. Which underpins romantic relationships at their initiation and the disruption of this balance is one way to explain why. Published research has and continues to demonstrate a sexual and relationship preference of women especially younger women toward men with narcissistic machiavellian and psychopathic traits.
This can go some way to explaining the seeming. Sexual ascendancy of character disturbed individuals into a sexual and relationship marketplace and the resulting negative societal consequences narcissus have on their partners and children it cannot explain every aspect of the relationship dynamic that is going on with narcissus. Its it is a hypothesis and ill leave it to you the viewer to decide if it has any relevance or value to you so with this video.
I wrap up this series on understanding. The romantic appeal of narcissists and understanding narcissus in romantic relationship. Thank you for watching.
And i look forward to seeing you for a new series on a new topic in the coming future as always god willing take care bye bye. .
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